Interviewer: How long have you known Bert?
Ernie: Oh, over 20 years now.
Interviewer: have you always lived together?
Ernie: Yes, for as long as I remember.
Interviewer: How has it been living with him?
Ernie: It has been really difficult.
Interviewer: Difficult? Can you elaborate.
Ernie: Well you see... um.. Bert is kinda has a dual personality... during the show, he's a pushover and very geeky. But when the camera stops rolling he becomes a raging maniac.
**Interviewer: **Maniac.. how do you mean?
Ernie: Well he hurts me and stuff.
Interviewer: Why do you still live with him then?
Ernie: He says if I leave the apartment he'll kill me and Rubber Duckie.
Interviewer: He can't possibly be serious.
Ernie: He is, he is very capable of this. Once, me and Duckie tried to escape... He almost strangled me to death.
Interviewer: Why does he force you to stay?
Ernie: I think he needs company, you know when he overdoses and stuff, also he likes to touch me. He ------CUT------
Interviewer: Here, here, please stop crying. (pause) Are you okay now?
Ernie: (sniff) Yes, please continue.
Interviewer: You mentioned overdosing... overdosing on what?
Ernie: Bert experiments with all kinds of stuff, L.S.D., Speed, Ecstasy, Heroin, Cocaine, Cannabis... he taught me all the names... I hate him most when he is high.
Interviewer: Why?
Ernie: It's when he's high when he makes me do stuff.
Interviewer: What kind of stuff?
Ernie: He makes me go to the Pigeon shed and ------CUT------
Interviewer: What??!!
Ernie: Please I cannot talk anymore... I gotto go.
The Interview ended abruptly with Ernie hysterically shaking and in tears.... We persued no longer, this soul was already in too much pain.
